NFL Week 10 Picks/Power Ranks
Hello readers, and a very happy Veteran's Day to you. A beautiful day in November where you can take a second, minute, all day, whatever....to think about the people that unequivocally protect everything about us. Friends, loved ones, strangers, everybody. It's their day...let's make sure we let them know it.
Veteran's Day also has a quirky twist this year with the whole 11's thing. In honor of this phenomenon, the NFL power rankings come in unique fashion. Rank every team in reverse order, describe them in a nutshell using 11-words-or-less, then stamp a nice little playoff chance percentage. Picks will come right after that, with each game being summed up, of course, in 11 words or less. It will be as chock-loaded as it sounds, so lets get to it.
The "Let's Hope We're A Lot Better On 12/12/12 Than We Are Today Division"
32. Indianapolis Colts (0-9) Playoff Chance: 0%
Fifty more points allowed than anyone else. Peyton couldn't help there.
31. Miami Dolphins (1-7) Playoff Chance: 0%
Quarterback, coach both on way out. Others eagerly hoping to join.
30. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) Playoff Chance: 1%
Preparing rookie quarterback for future. But is their future in Jacksonville?
29. St. Louis Rams (1-7) Playoff Chance: 0%
Schedule gets easier, but division now unexpectedly out-of-reach.
28. Seattle Seahawks (2-6) Playoff Chance: 0%
Road win over Giants assured to be highlight of 2011.
27. Arizona Cardinals (2-6) Playoff Chance: 0%
These power rankings say quite a bit about the NFC West.
26. Washington Redskins (3-5) Playoff Chance: 2%
Tough division, decimated by injuries, John Beck cannot play.
25. Cleveland Browns (3-5) Playoff Chance: 2%
I cannot name 8 players that start for Cleveland. Not ashamed.
The "We're Not Very Good, But You're Scared To Play Us In Week 11" Division
24. Carolina Panthers (2-6) Playoff Chance: 0%
Newton-to-Smith magical. Built for future. Division just too murderous.
23. Minnesota Vikings (2-6) Playoff Chance: 0%
Ponder looks fine, Peterson awesome. Once-feared defense providing little help.
22. Denver Broncos (3-5) Playoff Chance: 15%
Tebow above-.500 as starter. Woeful division makes playoffs dream-able.
21. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) Playoff Chance: 10%
More points scored than allowed. Your guess as good as mine.
The "We Seem Decent, But You'd Secretly Love To Play Us In Week 11" Division
20. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) Playoff Chance: 20%
Scarred by Miami loss at home. Just no offense.
19. Tennessee Titans (4-4) Playoff Chance: 35%
Defense better than expected. But Chris Johnson ruining whole team.
18. Tampa Bay Bucs (4-4) Playoff Chance: 20%
Hit the skids hard. Loss this week and they're toast.
17. Buffalo Bills (5-3) Playoff Chance: 21%
A cruelly-low rank. But defense is such a mess.
16. San Diego Chargers (4-5) Playoff Chance: 20%
Last night told you everything you need to know. Wow.
The "We're Legit on November 11th, But Won't Quite Last To January 11th" Division
15. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2) Playoff Chance: 18%
Beat divisional powerhouses, and I'm on board. Til then...
14. Dallas Cowboys (4-4) Playoff Chance: 35%
Division is there if they feel like beating the Giants twice.
13. Oakland Raiders (5-4) Playoff Chance: 45%
Cannot put them in top-10 with those woeful defensive numbers.
12. Atlants Falcons (5-3) Playoff Chance: 40%
May peak at right time, but Saints better and wild-card brutal.
The "Can't Wait To Tell Grandkids We Were In The Top 11 On 11/11/11" Division
11. Chicago Bears (5-3) Playoff Chance: 51%
Played beyond wildest expectations. But underpaid best player hates them.
10. San Francisco 49ers (7-1) Playoff Chance: 100%
I'm forced to acknowledge playoff spot. But not to like you.
9. New York Jets (5-3) Playoff Chance: 60%
I'm forced to like you. And hope/pray for playoff spot.
8. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3) Playoff Chance: 60%
One impressive win. But silly to overly-doubt them.
7. Detroit Lions (6-2) Playoff Chance: 80%
Need Stafford staying healthy, and to stop loving themselves so much.
6. Houston Texans (6-3) Playoff Chance: 70%
Caught fire without their best player. No winning experience, though.
5. New England Patriots (5-3) Playoff Chance: 90%
This is a rouse to make potential-Jets win feel upset-ty.
4. Baltimore Ravens (6-2) Playoff Chance: 80%
Still plenty of questions. But they seem to have answers.
3. New York Giants (6-2) Playoff Chance: 65%
May be all downhill from here. But earned their spot here.
2. New Orleans Saints (6-3) Playoff Chance: 80%
Can be scored on at will. But who can keep up?
1. Green Bay Packers (8-0) Playoff Chance: 100%
Only place to put them. But not indestructible whatsoever.
Shooting over to the week 10 picks, with home teams in bold...
Steelers (-3) over Bengals
Steelers angry, Cincy fails first true test of 2011.
Chiefs (-3) over Broncos
K.C. should be ready for most one-dimensional offense imaginable.
Colts (+3) over Jaguars
Miami shook off the monkey last week. Indy's turn on Sunday.
Cowboys (-5.5) over Bills
I think Buffalo's been figured out. Dallas just more talented.
Buccaneers (+3) over Texans
Pundits have talked me into this. But Tamps definitely more desperate.
Titans (+3.5) over Panthers
Love Cam, but this is a field goal margin either way.
Dolphins (-4) over Redskins
Wanted to believe in Washington, but am completely out of reasons.
Saints (Pick'em!) over Falcons
Falcons at home, but New Orleans is just better dome team.
Lions (+3) over Bears
Real tough game to pick. Stafford barely out-guns Cutler.
Rams (+2.5) over Browns
In game of this much ineptitude, just give me Steven Jackson.
Cardinals (+13.5) over Eagles
Wish Kolb were healthy. But Beanie can move on them.
Ravens (-6.5) over Seahawks
Homefield is intriguing, but I would need at least a touchdown.
Jets (-1.5) over Patriots
The time is now.
Upset Perfiction of the Week
Giants (+3.5) over 49ers
The last stand in my crusade against San Francisco. Viva Eli!
Thanks for reading, readers! A very Happy Veteran's Day to everyone, and may all of your wildest dreams and wishes come true on Crazy 11's Day.
Who gets contacted for repairs?
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